poo

warning, hospital and toilet talk coming up!! where to start?? going from never going to a doctor and never ever going to hospital actually  not going to a doctor probably helped get me into this stink situation i'm in!! I Haven't even broken a bone!! thats because you can't really get hurt when watching tv anywho having nothing to do with hospitals I made up for that by spending close to 1 year staying hospital 6 months of that was in the old peoples ward lucky the staff were awesome because it was pretty boring in there being in hospital I was exposed to a  number of different things, I have never been critiqued  as much as  I was in hospital, I know it was all for my well being it's just some of it was a little funny, there was the liquid in liquid out monitoring then there was a nurse who must have been getting close to the end of her shift and hadn't completed my paperwork for handover, so one day she came flying up to me, yes she did have a broom stick!! lol so she comes to me and in front my visitors and in the lounge with other patients watching tv she asks me if i've had a bowel movement!!! wtf me-very quietly with a red face, yes i had her- what was it like? me- even redder than before and  in my head, it was brown and smelly lol I believe there is a scoring system to monitor whats coming out lol so even your poo gets a mark omg luckily laxativesKiwi crush(a kiwifruit smoothie drink used to keep you regular it was also optional but i liked the taste so had it whenever I could  luckily the lzatives  were optional... but one day my poo must have got a bad score so the nurse insisted I have a laxative , omg I can't believe I'm sharing this but its one of those things looking back on  I can see the funny side of it!! so I had this bloody laxative and then some friends were visiting and they had brought in some nice fresh strawberries, my favourite so I smashed a punnet of them, yum!! then it happened the laxative and the strawberries worked at the same time, I was sitting in my room pushing the call bell thing hoping like hell help was on the way quickly because there could have been a code brown to clean up lol in which case I may have been wheeled outside and hosed down lol which I would have been ok with luckily someone showed up in time the moral of that story don't eat lovely fresh fruit and take a laxative at the same time lol  I think that gave me a passmark because I wasn't offered anymore laxatives lol To be continued... yes there is more lol