kids

not sure where to start with this little tale... hang on yes I know, A few weeks ago mum and I went to the airport to drop my sister off, the airport was kinda busy so mum wheeled me to far end so she could sit and wait and I'd be out of the way.Just as we were getting sorted a little kid maybe about 3 or 4 came up to me and asked why was I in the wheelchair? kids are inquisitive at that young age  so I didn't mind I told him I couldn't walk, he asked why  so I was trying to think of a simple answer, he did want all the technical info and I don't know it either lol so I told him my brain was broken and I can't use that side of my body so why can't you walk? I can't feel anything down that side as I pointed to my leg with a splint on, those answers seemed to please his enquiring mind so I thought that was it he will take off now, then out the corner of my eye I noticed my left leg moving, The little shit was kicking my leg!!! I guess he was just checking that I wasn't making it up, I t I a thought it was  What did annoyed me most was his mum watching and smiling as her son kicked the disabled person I told him that its not very nice to do that so he took off to his mum and then started running up and down on the chairs and the mother did nothing, omg I didn't know who I wanted to tell off more the mum or the the kid!!!my blood is boiling just thinking about it, I don't want to judge a parent but I did with this one,apparently my death stare isn't scary enough to  make her jump into action her parenting license needs to be taken off her and she needs to be sent to a class to learn what acceptable behaviour is in public,if she can't cope with controlling that child then, I better stop now or I will get myself into trouble Thats me and my moan done hmm I wonder what I will write about next time???

poo

warning, hospital and toilet talk coming up!! where to start?? going from never going to a doctor and never ever going to hospital actually  not going to a doctor probably helped get me into this stink situation i'm in!! I Haven't even broken a bone!! thats because you can't really get hurt when watching tv anywho having nothing to do with hospitals I made up for that by spending close to 1 year staying hospital 6 months of that was in the old peoples ward lucky the staff were awesome because it was pretty boring in there being in hospital I was exposed to a  number of different things, I have never been critiqued  as much as  I was in hospital, I know it was all for my well being it's just some of it was a little funny, there was the liquid in liquid out monitoring then there was a nurse who must have been getting close to the end of her shift and hadn't completed my paperwork for handover, so one day she came flying up to me, yes she did have a broom stick!! lol so she comes to me and in front my visitors and in the lounge with other patients watching tv she asks me if i've had a bowel movement!!! wtf me-very quietly with a red face, yes i had her- what was it like? me- even redder than before and  in my head, it was brown and smelly lol I believe there is a scoring system to monitor whats coming out lol so even your poo gets a mark omg luckily laxativesKiwi crush(a kiwifruit smoothie drink used to keep you regular it was also optional but i liked the taste so had it whenever I could  luckily the lzatives  were optional... but one day my poo must have got a bad score so the nurse insisted I have a laxative , omg I can't believe I'm sharing this but its one of those things looking back on  I can see the funny side of it!! so I had this bloody laxative and then some friends were visiting and they had brought in some nice fresh strawberries, my favourite so I smashed a punnet of them, yum!! then it happened the laxative and the strawberries worked at the same time, I was sitting in my room pushing the call bell thing hoping like hell help was on the way quickly because there could have been a code brown to clean up lol in which case I may have been wheeled outside and hosed down lol which I would have been ok with luckily someone showed up in time the moral of that story don't eat lovely fresh fruit and take a laxative at the same time lol  I think that gave me a passmark because I wasn't offered anymore laxatives lol To be continued... yes there is more lol

apologies

hello again, this one big apology for all of the mistakes with spelling and grammar in my posts, and sorry if the are a bit messed up. I try to proof read them but I still get things out of order and I miss parts of the storythats thanks to the cognitive problems I now have. its kind of like I have a million thoughts going round and round in my head then I throw them at the computer or old school I'd throw them at the paper what sticks stays and toobad if the ideas don't flow or make sense in my head it reads like a perfect novel oh yeah don't give me anything with dates, times or numbers, in general I can't sort them out without getting help from Mum
P.S I have no idea where this goes when I click publish
lol

Where have you been?

Howdy Just over 3 years ago some of you started following my journey from being an expert couch potato to being a buff super fit unrecognisable potato!!Thank you for signing up way back when running around outside was normal (but not enjoyable!!)
hmmm, I fell off the wagon just over 3 years ago actually I didn't fall off the wagon I fell out of bed and for a couple of days lay on the floor listening to the telephone ringing after that ordeal I didn't feel like getting fit So in case you didn't know I had a huge stroke which has left me with limited use of my left side, so limited I'm in a wheelchair now.. not even the good car parking is worth this!!and thats because the mobility car parking isn't very good, thats a completely different story, so I think i have a pretty good reason for not going to the gym or walking up and down a mountain like a balloon about to pop!!  I could go on forever about how shitty life has become but who wants read all that negative crap?? lol I haven't totally given up on the gym  i have joined a mobility gym in Mount Maunganui its awesome fully set up for disabled people, I think  the only part of me getting a good work out is my jaw!! I talk too much!! and thinking back when I went to a normal gym all the rugby players did was lean on a machine and talk they seemed to get fit so I was trying that approach to working out... Fail!! they must be doing secret gym sessions! lol When I was working, my dream job was to watch tv all day, now that I can do that...the dream is over, its no longer fun can you believe I get bored watching tv thank god for netflix but still nothing is holding my interest lol So this ever expanding potato is still watching tv when I can find something decent to watch I no longer watch tv from the couch I watch  from an uncomfortable  wheelchair or from bed I guess that means technically my mission has been accomplished, I'm off the couch, way back in the beginning of this blog I said I wanted shake off the excess flavouring/ fat in, that department I have failed one of my only joys  I have now is coffee and food, so Im coating myself in plenty of flavouring!!it's hard to work it off when you have limited movement you maybe thinking coffee isn't that bad well what goes well with coffee??? cake lol and I jump at any chance of a coffee date, to get out of the house, just so long as it fits in with all my medical appointments and the days my support worker is with me since having this stroke I've had 6 operations on my brain yippee or no!! so many other complications comes when your brain is messed around with  Thats me done for   today, I got to keep some stories up my sleeve for future posts Thank  you for reading thats assuming you have made it this far!! lolCatch ya'll later hopefully the next post will have some humorous stories, yes somethings can be funny even when you get dealt a shitty hand!!

ill have another go!!

kia ora this my 4th attempt at writing this story I have been struggling to condense the last 3 and a bit years into a short concise story not sure if i've done that in the following words I guess I should start where I left off, I had been  walking up and down mount Maunganui frequently to raise money for surf life saving and to get me out of going to the gym but still keep up with the mission  I had begun!! I must have been getting too much fresh air that's when
i  when I was able to. breathe this uphill walking thing is designed to  destroy your heart and lungs, apparently 2 really important parts of the body you need to walk or roll back down the mountain, well this what i've been told and when i checked  who am I to disagree with doctor google??  Anyway I had this crazy idea that I needed to change my job from one sitting behind a desk to something more physical, dam it I got the first job I applied for so that challenge.Began really quickly, I ended up with a job in a warehouse picking and packing orders. about 3 hours into my first day I was ready to quittuff this physical stuff it's too hard I needed the safety of my desk, this running up down a warehouse picking orders was ok but  it was the emptying of th40 ft container that really killed me!! The warehouse was full of empty paint cans,even though they were empty, carrying stacks of them was hard work I was working with an older lady who was a machine, she  would do all this heavy work in the  warehouse then go and do a spin class! wtf that is some craziness right there when I  went home all I could do was collapse and  start planning my next meal!! lol hmmm, I wonder why I had to get physicalI didn’t quit I built s ramp  so I could get  wheelie thing over a step, much easier to use the wheelie thing, geez i'm always looking fQ'm always looking for the easy way out

this twas much easier and ffaster using the ramp anyway Isucked it up( that would be sucked up my lungs and heart  and went back  for a few more weeks of hell!! But dam it was good for converting this couch potato into aa  shoe string fry!! Lol I still have t  a long way to go however my. cardio fitness was increasing and my arm muscles were building up!! A nice side affect of lifting more than a pen!! The only time I was behind a desk was the courses I did, I had to get. forklift driving  license, nailed it!! The other  course I did  was getting qualified to open a shipping container!! Wtf I thought some bolt cutters and a bit of brute strength  was all that would be needed, apparently there is a lot of checking paperwork and being prepared for any creepy. crawlies again wtf, don’t the containers  get fumagated and checked for snakes etc and fumigation is probably not a good idea imagine the news coverage If found it was a container full of refugees seeking asylum here!! when the container arrives in nz?? when opening a containerMy plan was to squash and spray anything that moved and if I came across a box of white powder, do you think I’d be telling the authorities?? Hell no that box would be my way to  stop work and it would kickstart my retirement plan r I wouldn’t go and buy flashy things, that might draw attention to me however would  set myself up as the kingpin of the nz drug world! I'm so tough!! lol I’ve watched enough movies and documentaries to know how to establish. Myself!! Haha, Unfortunately I didn't to try out this new career the magic box didn't arrive before Finished that  job I left not because I was sick and tired of physical work.  i left because my nightmare started, I had a massive stroke, so a pretty good reason for giving up on anything work related!! hello couch/ wheelchair! I'm back!!lol and just for shits and giggles I had my stroke during the night and managed to fall on the floor where I lay for 2 days before I was found oh how dramatic of me!! sounds worse than what it was I had no idea how long I was on  the floor for, fyi don’t live by yourself,  if you do get  a medical  alarm thing so you can push the button when you find yourself in a situation and need someone to come save you from lying on the floor  I had the dog to keep me companyI think she did good, if you have a dog i would suggest training  your dog to. bring the phone or tv remote so if you can see tv an it will help pass the time and if your phone keeps ringing like mine was you will be able to answer and request help if You are on the floor I’m sure watching Tv will help  pass the time  And always leave food out for the dog you don’t want your lovely k9 to start looking at you like you are  a nice juicy steak!!my imagination works overtime now! lol But seriously dogs are good little companions I know this because after my first operation i was patting my imaginary dog while in recovery,  since that shitty night I've had  5 operations the surgeon knows my brain better than I do  I’m home now but I i'M paralysed down my left side and  need help with most things, However I can make tea and coffee and most importantly I can make bacon and eggs!lol all is good in the hood  if I. can still make bacon and eggs!! I can only do stuff from my wheelchair, I can stand and kinda shuffle around, but I can’t shuffle around in the kitchen to make food I’m a boy and multi tasking isn’t a strong skill I have! Lol standing and holding something doesn’t work too well my  brain can’t cope with doing too many things at once even standing and talking can overload my brain,  and before anyone tries to be be funny, yes I do have a brain I have scans of it for proof the scan also shows the hole which is causing.causing my problems Somehow I need to build a bridge and tell the neutrons to get ver it!lol yes I got dealt a pretty shitty hand but it is what it is and I need to get on with life I can't  dwell on the situation I do get frustrated though not being able to do the things we take for granted like walking sitting and standing holding onto a coffee cup with both hands!! Why do some of those  cups have teeny tiny handles an adult can’t fit their fingers in, we aren’t all going to a teddy bears An aesome side effect of this stroke is epilepsy I had a shunt installed to reduce the pressure in my skull,  so now that  have epilepsy I’m too scared to be by self. I also can’t drive so I need a support worker to take me out I’m onto my third support person all of the coffee and lunches out  Must be a bit much or I'm a total prick to work with!! I need social interaction outside of homeI spend more time with mum than what dad does when he is in the country!! I'm lucky mum and I get along well together but we do need some time apart or we starting fighting  Mum  and it’s true when you hear people say you find out who your real friends are it's so true I’ve had amazing support from those friends who have hung around and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay my family they have been  amazing, having a serious illness  doesn't just effect the person it happened to  I’ve changed the course of my families there lives and thankfully they allow me to ask for things and they don’t make me feel stink I do that to myself for asking that’s hard to do with anyone, going from being totally I dependant to relying on others for everything, there are a few things I can still do or half do. toilet is all me except i need a hand to pull up the left side of my pants! showering is mostly me, washing is all good, drying not so good and dressing even worse so lots of help there it's  hard to deal with at times I’m not sure if I’ll be able to drive again I have left side  neglect so all sorts can happen to the left of me and I don’t notice which could be problematic driving, the left side of the car would constantly need a paint tI'm not sure if insurance would pay up frequently l on my left, geez I can. E a. Menace driving my power chair!! I ran into the reception lady at the hospital and I reunited into the dog a few times, oops with her deafness she doesn’t hear. Ycoming andshe doesn’t seeallthatwell, she is 13 not to bad for an old girl! lol oh yeah so a ktowhat I stRtedto sYa few people have stuck by me a lot of people have disappeared I’m not sure if it’s ecauseill. E a mess and unable tocommunicate, I did hear a visitor I had in hospital say oh

Looks like he did before, what were they expecting? I wasn’t mangled in a car crash and I heard a lot kfpeoplecomment on how well I could talk, oki get that one but for any good people visiting friends or fa ily just remember those curtains are not sound proof lol drs and nurses need to remember that to, I learnt all about the guy in the next ed I knew his ame birthday I’ll ess when he was duetoba e pipes and tubes changed I also learnt which nurse was learning to change and clean his stuff FYI. Ed baths aes nothing like the picture books and special videos would make them outto. Ed! Lol so if you need the down low on hospital stays just ask! Lol so yip a lot friends have dropped off the face of the earthor they all have their invisibility coats on lol a big thank you to those people who awe Dound, I don’t expect much I thought I may have got the Kc assional hello maybe they don’t know kw what to talk about with me like I am and the passing of. Y fVouriteand only little brother maybe these things created a perfect storm and have scared people away lol that’s just the first year i ebeen off this blog  I have plenty more I could say to filling the other 2 years but I won"t. thank you for reading this far!! must cuppa tea time lol I just thought of something ese I need to do. Ihave to change all of my inline fsting app description thongee yes there is more than 1 I am/ was desperate!! lol I need to chsnge  the I love long walks on the brach at sunset to I love beong pushed along the footpath closr to the beach at sundet so lng as I'm not  tired and Ialso love romantic dinners Ineed to change that to I love romantic dinners , you me and mum!! she has to take mr lol wow what a catch. qho wouldn't want all that ?? loland I haven't totally changed
i still spend a lot of time watching tv thank goodnrdd for netflix lol but that give me even more to watch lol and I'm still trying to turn into smaller oitato, not easy whrn movrmrnt is limitrd, so i have joined s mobility  apparently going there consistantly andeating healthy should have an affect and gwlp mw towards my goal.... dumb who qants that id rsther havr a magic pill lol 

To sing or not sing....

That is the question... Just one of the many questions running through my head!!

The home gym has been delivered and assembled.  Well I had to assemble it... that was a workout in itself !! So many bits and bobs to bolt together, the instructions came in seven different languages.... thank god one of them was English because the diagrams where a little hard to follow!!!  It kinda of reminded me of Ikea furniture only tougher!!!  Only took about three hours to assemble, needless to say after that effort I was in no mood for a workout, a movie was in order to relax!!

The new gear has been broken in and so far so good!!  I'm loving being at home and being able to do a work out, no need to use public bathrooms at the gym, you can choose what music you listen to, you can choose how loud to have it, you can wear the ugliest gym clothes without being judged, you can use the back lawn for extra room (watch out for the dog poo though!!) you don't have to wait for equipment, it doesn't matter if you short t-shirt rides up and you don't have to drive home afterwards!  So many advantages, why did I not think of this sooner???

However, being able to choose your own music can get a little tricky... you need an upbeat song that will get you pumping and keep the pace up while working out.  My problem is I keep choosing songs that I love to sing along too (another bonus of being at home, no one to complain about the singing!!!) but I think that impacts on breathing which in turn has something to do with the workout results so I need to learn to keep my mouth shut.... hmmm, just had a brainwave - Karaoke gym anyone??

I would also like to acknowledge my workout buddy.... Mum!! Two thumbs up for her hard out training tonight!!  Thought I was going to have to drag her out of the house to the shed but after some gentle persuasion we headed out for some torture!!  I think we had a good workout, turns out I may have learnt some stuff from Mark so I was able to coach Ma along a bit, (future personal trainer here... watch this space!!! bahahaha) we will need to tweak our routines a little but I think we are on track for a transformation... Geez we must have trained hard because we were both knackered by the end of it and pretty much had to crawl inside once we had finished.

As a reward for our hard work I was imagining a big piece of chocolate cake and a coffee (not forgetting the whipped cream!!).... ooohhhh, that would have been nice..... But reality hit once I got inside and on the menu was chicken and salad for dinner!!  It was no chocolate cake but it definitely tasted good, actually I was so hungry anything would have been good!! Ahhhh, The joys of healthy eating!!!!

Anyway, cardio night tomorrow..... wonder how we will go......

It's meeeeeee...... I'm back!!!!

Your a smart bunch so you have probably already realised that I fell off the wagon.... oops, my bad!!  I think I may have missed mentioning in my earlier blogs that I am the King of finding excuses to skip a training session or two or three weeks....  Of late I have used the excuse that Dad was home so I was busy with him, then a friend was over from Oz so I missed a session or two because of that, then working crazy hours got in the way, then I started a new job in a new town which came with a new set of problems and then during the other days I was just glued to the tv... no need to lie about that, we all know it's what I do best!!  But I will say when Dad was home although I wasn't going to the gym as often as I should have we did plenty of physical work at home which got a good sweat up and kept the weight from creeping up, which is a surprise because we didn't hold back when it came to food, if Dad felt like something e.g. fish & chips it was on the menu!!

As for most of the other excuses they were real but all I did was use them to justify to myself that it was ok not to show up at the gym, the problem is I accepted my own excuses without a blink of the eye which is where the downhill spiral started and then THUD.  The ground smacked me in the face and that's when realised I was sabotaging the good start I got off too.

However, I did start a new job unfortunately it is in another town to where my gym is based so I had to find a new place to sweat it out and show off my short t-shirts!!  I found a new gym in Rotorua and was keen as a jelly bean to get going and start my new routine 'going to the gym straight after work five days a week' and then home to relax.... hmmm, that nice little picture I had in my head of how my new life was going to roll was shattered when I went to gym to join up.  Turns out not all gyms are the same, I think I was spoiled with Bay Bodyfit and what they had to offer, a friendly relaxed atmosphere with clean and tidy facilities.  Turns out it is really important to feel comfortable in the gym you choose to use.   So I joined up on the Monday with a gym I wasn't 100% happy with and then called back on Tuesday to cancel my membership!!! Took me a night to realize I would end up finding more excuses to avoid going to a place I didn't feel comfortable in.   Now that left me in bit of a quandary...  what the hell am I going to do for a gym??? There was another I could join in town but it looked a little small and rough for my liking!!! And then a light bulb flashed above my head I have ended up joining an exclusive gym in Paengaroa... I know who would have thought there was gym out in that little settlement....  Well it's really new, it opened this week and it's out in our shed!!  We went equipment shopping last weekend and got a few of the basics, cross trainer, free weights, bench, bench press rack thingee (not sure of the technical name!!) and a swiss ball which according to theory should be enough to get us going until we need to expand our choice of equipment in the gym (and shed!!)  Oh yeah, sorry Dad you have just lost half of your shed!!!

There is no excuses now! No more, 'I don't have time to go into town for a workout' No more, 'bugger gym closes early today' No more, 'Oh shit, what do I wear today to the gym?'

So if you want to join an exclusive little gym (so far we only have 2 members, Mum and I!!) Feel free to pick up an application form.... pretty expensive though.... costs a lot to have a view of the paddock, the smell of the lawn mower in your work space and a cat and dog staring at you the whole time your working out!!! :-)